Getting to work on our marriages.

Eph 4:32; 5:22-33; Jam 3:5-10; Pro 18:21-22; 9:14; 31:28-29; 31:10-12; 11:29; 14:1; 17:1; 21:9,19.

PRCHR-41-160217 - length: 48:33 - taught on Feb, 17 2016

Class Outline:

John Farley
February 17, 2016

Practical Christianity:

Getting to work on our marriages

EPH 4:32

EPH 5:22 - 33

Husbands, love your wives. Every day.

Wives, respect your husbands. Every day.

And both of you, keep forgiving one another.

God designed Christian marriage so that the husband meets the wife’s agenda,

…and the wife meets the husband’s agenda.


What is on top of the husband’s agenda , the thing he needs to get from his wife, is respect.

And the top of the wife’s agenda, what she needs from her husband, is love.

Love your wife.
Respect your husband.

So the wife submits to the husband’s RESPECT agenda, only to discover…

only to discover that his agenda has become handling her LOVE agenda .

When he lays down his life for her, he finds out that …

She is right beside him respecting him and subjecting herself to him in everything.

Love your wife.
Respect your husband.

None of this is to say that the husband is not the leader of the family. He is.

1CO 11:3
But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, …

1CO 11:3
...and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.

When it comes time to make decisions, the husband has the responsibility to do it.

Someone has to ride up front on the Harley.


There is a place at the head of the table, and God decides who fills it.

But the one who fills it is to be the servant of the rest of the people at the table.

When you are in the lead, there is no one in front of you to absorb the shots that come your way.


Love your wife.
Respect your husband.

How do we live according to the design of Christian marriage in Ephesians 5?

Start by ASKING YOUR SPOUSE that question….!

Love your wife.
Respect your husband.

Husband: “Honey, what are the things I do (or don’t do) that make you feel unloved?”

Wife: “Darling, what are some things that I do (or don’t do) that make you think you are not respected?”

Husband: “What are some areas that I can work on to make sure you are secure in my love?”

Wife: “What are some things I can to set your heart at rest that I really do respect you as the leader of our family?”

Husbands, let’s begin with you….

Being in an affair with another woman is incredibly destructive.

Husbands, when we look at pornography, or ogle other women, it makes our wives feel unloved.

Husbands, do not hit your wives. Ever.

EPH 5:28-30

Husbands, don’t threaten your wives with physical violence. Ever.

Don’t be verbally abusive to her.

JAM 3:5-10

PRO 18:21-22

When we don’t cherish her.

PRO 9:14

It means to hold her dear.

It means to protect and care for her, lovingly, passionately.

It means to be devoted to her.

PRO 31:28-29

It means to be gracious to her, understanding, forgiving, giving.